Acceptance of the brand new vintage

Do you realise how people change when they grow up.

You know, I have friends who wish they could grow up faster. Add on numbers to their age so they could walk a little further, go on a little longer and be free to sign legal papers on their own. They wish to be free of chains that reigned on them so that they are able to make every choices on their own because they’d know what is the best for them and their future.

But the only thing that they forget as they grow up, they forget that responsibilities come with the whole package and that every move, every word, every choice is a reflection of who they are and what they believe in.

And as I browsed through my friends’s profiles in facebook, I realised how much they had changed. Their perceptions, their stand, their principles. So much of their innocent and original identity had been re-sculptured conceptually by the ideas pumped in by the media.

It is a shame that those beautiful traits that I had adored once about those people are lost.

Yet, I do realise that I cannot simply judge them based on my own stand and principles in things, in life. So the only thing to do is to learn to accept them once more entirely on who they are now.

What’s left to do after that is to simply watch what I had believed in fly away and smile at those ”used to be’s”. Just like what Hady Mirza says.

The reason why

“So, you guys really want to know why we appear to be running away and get all slippery while waiting for the right time to slide away while you thought all along that you almost nailed that tail on the pony?

Well, this is for all the guys who are clueless on why they cant seem to get through to that girl who had been constantly uptight about the term “relationship” and why she is the way she is. This is for the guys who cannot understand why that particular girl could  not seem to let go that the past and simply accept you as you are. This is for the guys who are desperate to get the girl to see how sincere and serious you are but are not able to and are forced to leave the battle baffled.

Right. So, it was you guys – well, maybe not you, but your other brothers – who would mess up our minds. Constantly leaving impressions on our head and puffing them up before you would choose one miserable day to blow it up. Those heavily suger coated words with cherry promises on top were the start of it all.

Yea. Even when that fails, you’d still plough on with that sheer irritating determination to pop up and make yourselves seen, heard or whatever, just so she’d notice you. You’d plea for a drink, a talk, a chance.

And when she did finally gives in, that itself is a big mistake.

It is the chase isnt it? The thrill of the whole chase. The way that the West has penetrated the minds of men and make us be seen as objects of competition. A trophy. A souvenier.

But yea . . we girls know that not all guys are like that. At least, we try to believe. But it just takes that one big blow. That one traumatic experience to change every idealistic perception of men that we had always tried to hold on to.

And yea . . we know it isnt always your fault. And we know that we would, unconsciously and undeniably would have done major mistakes ourselves. We’d admit that. And we’d make it known and apologise to you. But would you do the same?

Anyway, give a girl the space that she needs and give her time to decide whether she’s ready to move on or not. And dont worry. Once she’s thinks she’s ready – out of her own willingness and maturity – she’ll let you know, not verbally of course. But she’ll give hints.

Just try to get it.

But if she still dont want to get it on with you, it just means she’s the type who believes in true love and you’re not it. ”

-

Wow. Spot on.

Anyway, almost added in milk powder instead of sugar into my coffee.

I lost my voice. Having a headache and a blocked nose.

And I havent return my library books nor paid my library fines.

Ahhh . . .

Life is beautiful .

Yeaaaa . .

I sat beside someone who was still recovering from flu on Wednesday during tutorial class. Big Big mistake!

The next few days after that was kinda unpleasant. Headache, slight fever and sneezings! Can’t do any revision and can’t memorise stuff for my religious class exam tomorrow.

And being slow in registering information and retaining it isnt helping. While my brothers laze around, acting as if there’s no religious exams tomorrow, I am killing myself, spending hours after hours, trying to memorise verses while fighting with the freakingly irritating mucus.

I hate the fact that they can kinda live without giving a damn about things. They go around, taking their time with things and somehow, they could still get their way around.

Its not fair.

Weird

Sometimes I think I’m weird.

I’d be friendly to those who are difficult to get close to. But things would suddenly change when I because the one whom they’d want to get close to with an agenda. I’d become reserved and super cautious.

Most of the time, I’d just get excessively shy and wouldnt even dare to look at the person to the extend that it might appear as if I am running away and avoiding him as if hatred is the cause. But it isnt.

-

ps: just so you know, you are the id.

 

Monday Histeria

Last Monday, my friends and I took a bus that heads to The Prata Place to eat before going back to school for night lecture.

And we saw a cute, young and a quite attractive bus driver.

As we sat down to the seats directly behind the bus driver . .

Atikah: Eh! Good looking sia! (With eyes darting to and fro at the bus driver)
Me: Aiyah, we should have acted that there’s sometimes wrong with our ez-link card. Then ask him to help us tap.
(Atikah & I acted the “scene” out)

Then Atikah, Juliana & I laughed.

Me: Eh, better yet,  use coin and pay ar!
Atikah: Ya! Use all 5 cents. Then slowly slowly drop it.

Laughed again.

Me: While doing that, must sing “9 – 6 – 7 – 7 – 4 -7 ….” (I couldnt finish coz I ended up laughing. Its my phone no. btw )

We laughed again.

Then Atikah looked at me laughing then she laughed again.

Atikah: Hanisah! I cannot see you laugh sia coz later I will also laugh!
Me: (trying to suppress my laughter) Why?
Atikah: (trying to control laughter too) Your eyes!

-_-”

They say my eyes = one line when I laugh hard

Ya, thanks ar. Thanks.

Hahaaa.

The whole of Monday was fun.

Lets do it again

 

 

Yaa

I am and addict.

No matter how much it’ll sting, even though sometimes it’ll make me tear, I would still look forward for more.

Mr. Chilli Padi rocks my life

I have to

I know 2 years in JC was hard enough.

But for the next couple of years or so, I am certain that it will be going to be even tougher.

Because now, academic by itself can no longer be my sole focus.

For the sake of my dreams, I’ll have to pull this through.

I have to.

Even after all these years, there’ll be times when our past will surface back up and pull us down. We don’t need it in our current life. To be tied down by futile memories are such a chore.

We find ourselves wanting to be isolated and tears may fall yet again for the zillionth time. Then we play around with the “blaming game”.

Yeaaa .

As humans, shit happens sometimes. And as weak beings that we are, we always find ourselves lost at one point or another.

And it sucks when we have to deal with it. But when we are through, we move on.

That is, until the whole thing happens again.

Same Thing Over And Over Again

We hurt the people close and dear to us but are more consious and considerate towards strangers. We are given a mind to call our own which are blessed with the ability to think intelligently and rationally. Yet, we tend to allow emotions to overwhelm us over, compelling us to do irrational things which we will regret later.

Ego, pride and hatred always get in the way.

The thing is, even after all these years, many of us still won’t learn our lessons. We find ourselves in the same argument, same situation, same state of emotional and mental instability.

Because the other party wont change. And neither would we.

I want and I wish

I want to make fun of everything, including myself and laugh it all out.

I want to run around in IKEA and try out everything and jump on every mattresses.

I want to be able to go around the world without worrying a single thing about getting robbed, raped, kidnapped nor getting my face doodled when I am asleep.

I want to go to poverty stricken African countries and hug those beautiful children and tell them everything is alright.

I want to take back the Nobel Peace Prize from President Obama and give it to someone who ACTUALLY helped and strived to restore peace and prosperity for the past few years.

I want to embrace every durian tree in the world and tell them that I love the fruits that they bear and tell them to “Keep up the great work”.

I want to people to know that butterflies are pretty scary, especially when you get up close with them.

I want kidnapp all the children in the world and gather them all in a huge cinema where they can watch Looney Tunes, Poppye, The Care Bears, The Smurfs, Captain Planet and My Little Pony.

BUT MOST OF ALL!

I wish all the food sold in the world is Halal.